Feeling kinda blue. Actually, I feel pretty crappy.

Do you ever get that feeling like, no matter how hard you try (or don't try), you just can't win? Like no matter what you do, someone(s) will find a way to make you feel like shit about "it", whatever "it" may be.

People are insecure and they rub their insecurity off onto you and even though you KNOW their response is unjustified and childish, you still are emotionally effected.

Also, I'm a firm believer in create your own destiny with God as your cheerleader and guide. I'm a go-getter and little gets in my way when I'm out to achieve something. But it's a fact that many times, our success and/or survival (financial or otherwise) is dependent on those around you. Not fair.

I reflect on those who have it MUCH worse off than I. I am thankful for the friends, family and life I've been blessed with. But I despise the ugliness in others that inevitably makes me feel ugly. I despise it because deep down, I just want those people to feel loved, worthy of being precious because they ARE. But I can not change the fact that the surface hurts; that the things in life that made them feel ugly make them ugly in turn. I hate it because I see ugliness in myself; I hate it because how can I love others when I feel unable to love myself sometimes?

Unnoticed, under-cared for, unprotected. Maybe useless. Vulnerable. Small. Maybe even invisible.

Sorta.

I know it's not true. But it still sucks. Blah.