A parade outside my house...

Tonight was a "pee-in-your-pants" kind of night. I laughed so hard I had to be given oxygen...

I was home with our house guest Elizabeth (she's here from Scottland and in seminary!). She had a clay figure she'd made at a retreat and was given instructions on how to bake it. Low heat for 15 minutes. I helped her set up the oven and we went back to our own activities...

6 minutes later, "Anna, it's burning! Do you smell that?!?! UGH!!!"

"No, not really. Just take it outside" I say from the other room. Out of the corner of my eye I see her run outside with her burnt treassure, and turned around to extend my sympathy.

And then my lungs started burning.

"UGH, this smell is toxic!" I yelled, lauging but still choking. "What did you do?"

"Eeek, what do we do? Oh no, I've killed your house!" she exclaimed in her adorable scottish accent.

"Elizabeth, open the windows and doors, turn the fans on!" I start running around the house trying to ventilate, all the while Elizabeth is more or less panicking. Every few moments we start to laugh hysterically, and then stop because we couldn't breathe.

Finally I said, "I'm calling 911. This could get really bad"...

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Yeah, I don't even know if this is one but a clay pot started burning and now our house smells like toxicity. Any ideas on how to vent the house?"

"Ma'm, you need to get yourself and any other living creatures out of the house right now. I'm sending the fire department over right away."

"Hmm, ok."


I grab Skooge and put him in the backyard; I didn't think it was a good idea to have our man-biting territorial dog around when big intrusive men came through the house.

I grabbed a few hand towels and threw them at Elizabeth. "Breathe through these!" If you'd been watching us, you would have thought the entire back wing of the house was on fire; with my years of lifeguard and safety training as well as extensive rescue techniques I learned in Disney, I began to take the necessary steps to safety... doors closed, towels stuffed in the cracks. Get everyone out of the house and get all the windows open. Check for anyone left behind... Skooge was in the back, Elizabeth was in the garage watching (I really don't think she had any idea what to do with herself). Call mom and dad. Oh yeah. Call Mom and Dad...

"Uh, Mom, if you are on your way home and happen to arrive and see fire-trucks, a police car and an ambulence, just know that everything is ok."

"HUH?" she replied; somewhat confused, but not panicked. Betweek our families numerous hospital visits and us smoking ourselves out of the house a few years back, I don't think much can surprise her anymore.

"Yeah, we burned a pot and the fumes are bad and the 911 lady said to get out of the house. I've secured the rooms and opened all of the windows and..."

"Did you get the birds out?!?!"

"THE BIRDS! I'll call you back!"

I grabbed my breathing towel and ran back in for the bird cages. The canaries, Bird and Yellow Feather seemed to enjoy their little excursion. Jasmine the parakeet was more or less annoyed.

Finally, all of us- three birds, one Skooge, one Scottsman (well, woman) and a former Disney Princess- are safely standing in the driveway. I can not contain my laughter while Elizabeth prepares to be sent back home.

The team arrives and the EMT decides I need to be taken into the ambulance to have my vitals checked. I'm pretty sure I was light headed from laughing so hard, but I wasn't about to argue.

"Ok little lady, we're going to give you a little oxygen to clear your lungs out. How do her vitals look EMT Guy #2?"

"She's 100% on everything; her heart rate's up a bit but that's it" EMT Guy #2 said.

"I really feel ok, just... oh wait, I'm getting a call."

"Anna? What are they saying, we're almost home..."

"Yeah, I'm getting oxygen right now Mom, I'm going to have to call you back."

"Hmm. Ok honey, see you soon." No panic. Just kind of like, "Just another day with the Poling's"

I finally sign away my life so I can get off of the ambulance and Elizabeth comes running, "Are you ok? They said it was nothing to worry about. You did the right thing! Can you breathe? Would you like some juice?"

"I'm fine. Really."

"Ok, well..."

We couldn't stop laughing. No harm, no foul right? =)


The parent's arrived after everyone had left. A little confused, not as worried as they realized everything was ok. It still smells but apparantly we'll be ok.

Yep, just another night at my house.

Feeling kinda blue. Actually, I feel pretty crappy.

Do you ever get that feeling like, no matter how hard you try (or don't try), you just can't win? Like no matter what you do, someone(s) will find a way to make you feel like shit about "it", whatever "it" may be.

People are insecure and they rub their insecurity off onto you and even though you KNOW their response is unjustified and childish, you still are emotionally effected.

Also, I'm a firm believer in create your own destiny with God as your cheerleader and guide. I'm a go-getter and little gets in my way when I'm out to achieve something. But it's a fact that many times, our success and/or survival (financial or otherwise) is dependent on those around you. Not fair.

I reflect on those who have it MUCH worse off than I. I am thankful for the friends, family and life I've been blessed with. But I despise the ugliness in others that inevitably makes me feel ugly. I despise it because deep down, I just want those people to feel loved, worthy of being precious because they ARE. But I can not change the fact that the surface hurts; that the things in life that made them feel ugly make them ugly in turn. I hate it because I see ugliness in myself; I hate it because how can I love others when I feel unable to love myself sometimes?

Unnoticed, under-cared for, unprotected. Maybe useless. Vulnerable. Small. Maybe even invisible.

Sorta.

I know it's not true. But it still sucks. Blah.

Funny quotes of the week...

"The only thing Jack Bauer is addicted to is being The Man" -BG

"Jack Bauer is the only one who can get away with going the wrong direction in traffic and screaming, 'MOVE!'" -AP

"Uh, point plaquard"; "Deep beak"; "The Gazette"; "Lincoln... MONUMENT!"; "The colors of these M&M's are too muted for my taste"; -Any number of people playing 25...

"I need you to give more head on that" -Rush Captain

"Does this place only hire Spanish speaking people?" -AP

Two eight counts into a longish dance routine, "Are we almost done?" -Little girl at the pom clinic, to which Ashley responded, "Do the dance." You may or may not have had to have been there.

"I'm a professional dancer for the AFL" (Me, clearly) "Do you use pole? I been to place like that once. You make lots of money?" -Lady at the nail salon. Me: (after a looooong pause)"Sure".