It has been a long time since I've felt 'good'. To be open and honest in hopes that it will help others, I have struggled with depression for over a year now and since I've changed a medication I've been taking, I am starting to feel like myself again.
I know some people have issues with medication for depression but the way I see it is this: you would not deny a diabetic their insulin because their body does not produce it, so why deny someone medication that produces seratonin when their body is struggling to make it?
For me, I see this as most likely temporary. With the help of my counselor and medication, I've been able to learn new coping mechanisms and truly look at why I'm struggling with a clear head that doesn't get overwhelmed easily, making the healing process impossible. However, if I continue to struggle, I will allow myself to HELP myself with a combination of medication and counseling.
I hosted a sleepover for the small group I lead through Student Impact Saturday night. Without breaking confidentiality, I ask that you PRAY PRAY PRAY for these young women (upwards of 15 of them) who are struggling with deep, painful issues. I feel weak, worried, and so small- I love every single one of these girls but constantly feel sub-par because I often worry that I'm not keeping up with them individually. It is overwhelming even though it is rewarding. I ask that you pray for me- I have been given a unique opportunity to serve these girls as women like Eve Rickert and Dana Evans served me during my high school years, but I am struggling with feel inadequate to keep up with it. Pray that these girls have NO doubt how much I love them, and even less doubt about God's love for them.
I am tired. I am scared for my future, scared to get a real job, scared and worried at how I'm going to pay this month's bills, fix my car and get a new computer; I have such amazing dreams and have little doubt that God will bless me, but this time in my life is so hard. However, I know I will be taken care of.
I am tired; but I am good.
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I am all for meds. I would not be a functional person without the meds I finally found after trying a crapload. They literally changed my life. Ignore those with issues and keep listening to your logic - it's right on... Counseling = the best! And I heart Dana Evans and Eve Rickert :)
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